At exactly this moment, your body probably needs:
a) Something warm
b) Something green
c) Something bourbon
d) All of the above
You need something green because over the past 48 hours you’ve inhaled a (fully deserved) gluttonous share of things that were gooey, molten, buffalo-sauced, refried, deep fried, chocolate-dipped, iced, carbonated, crunchy, covered in neon orange film and/or Ruffles.
You need something warm because it’s that time of year when, after getting a little too confident that you’d braved the worst of winter, February happens.
February: when you’re forced to pull out your all function/no form snow boots and reacquaint yourself with the ankle soreness said boots cause after one little breakfast outing. The month when true love is tested, not by the appropriateness of Valentine’s Day gifts, but by your significant other’s ability to accept your appearance, despite your lumberjack boots and unwaveringly monochromatic wardrobe.
You need bourbon because you’re only human.